The Mindful Nepali

It is quite simply amazing-the number of thoughts we have during the course of the day. From trivial matters like what to wear today to our beliefs regarding the purpose of life, the meaning making machine in our head swamps us with numerous opinions. No matter what our perceptions, we would ideally like to put them into words that are fitting of our exact cognizance.

But do you, my dear readers, realize the enormity of the sheer anguish that stems from the slightest discrepancy that exists between what is in the head and what is meant to be put out there?

As a mentor, I’m entrusted to guide my mentees to express themselves better. Speaking and writing are supposed to be my forte, but I wouldn’t be lying if I was to confess of the plight I sometimes feel when I realize that my words cannot do justice to how I’m feeling. No matter how hard I toil to improve my repertoire of verbal and writing tools, I know that there will always inevitably be a failure on my part to communicate exactly what I mean to say.  Whether enthralled or sullen, a discrepancy of sorts always arises between what I say and what I was actually meaning to say. That perhaps explains why I resort to remaining stoical rather than distorting the true feelings that I know reside in me.

Come to think of it, isn’t it the same when it comes to loving? Whether it is the love we would ideally like to shower on our close ones or the love for the type of work we’d like to pursue as careers, we will probably never be able to achieve perfection; to do justice to the way we truly feel. We will want the best for the ones we love, but invariably fail to make it known or felt through our actions and behaviors. We will be giving our best to add value, but will often come undone when faced with the numerous challenges of a fulfilling career. But do these frailties mean we stop loving altogether?

Just like we can’t and won’t stop communicating no matter the margins of discrepancies, we simply can’t afford to shy away from loving the ones that mean the world to us and/or from pursuing what sets our souls on fire just because of the possible irk that may stem from the discrepancy between how we feel inside and what we are capable of making feel.

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