But I Never Checked

I was clear on my intent. I was longing to be heard. Although I was conscious of what was important to me in the moment, I failed to realize something that is equally as important as recognizing what’s important to me. I didn’t take a moment to check-in with the person who I was hoping would contribute to this yearning of mine. I made an assumption that they were willing as well as had the ability to offer me empathic presence- a non-judgmental way of being with another person without trying to talk them into something else or simply, ‘fix them’.

You can imagine, my assumption was tested. And it turned out, they didn’t. I wasn’t looking for advice. I just longed to be seen, heard, understood. I got frustrated. I felt resentful. I made a decision to not be so open about my deeper feelings with them again.

On hindsight, I’m realizing that I never checked-in with them to see if they were willing and able to offer me what I was asking of them at that very moment. Suddenly, it became clear- it wasn’t their problem. It was mine. Earlier, I felt helpless. But now, there is a sense of possibility.

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